A Jewellery Component Designer's Parenting Concerns - Sexual Predators 1

When I am not sketching out sterling silver component designs, I read newspapers and parenting magazines. The news of Jaycee Dugard, who was abducted and kept in captivity for the last 19 years, is all over the news. As a mother of two young girls, I cannot help but to be deeply affected by this news. It is every parent's nightmare. And my immediate instinct is to think about how I can safeguard my own children from those exact circumstances, and then some.
It is often said that we cannot live our lives in fear, and that fear and panic can instil unhealthy insecurities in our children. I've been fighting fears of sexual predators, road safety, gang crimes, abductions for ransom or revenge (even though my husband and I have neither significant wealth nor enemies to think of - I design sterling silver components and my husband is a computer programming nerd) even before my children were born. After the birth of my first child, I noticed that I was constantly agitated and distracted. I was obsessively worried about hot stoves, suffocation and my daughter falling from heights. I found out that this condition was totally natural and a part of our evolutionary programming as parents to ensure the safeguard and survival of our children. Although this was comforting that I was not losing my mind, it did not diminish my compulsion to search for ways to maximize child safety at every turn. I try to keep panic from my voice when I speak to my husband about new plans and safeguards that I've just lost the previous night's sleep over. I certainly try to stay calm when explaining the new plans to my kids, editing my words very carefully.

Four of my friends were sexually molested at a young age, two by their teacher/instructor, one by a fellow student at a prestigious boarding school, and one by an older boy who lived in the neighbourhood. That is a significant percentage considering how small my circle of friends is, and it also goes to show you that it can happen anywhere. I don't want to send you into a panic, but outside the world of sterling silver components horrible things do happen. Thankfully, there are some things that we can do about it. I was lucky, and I want to ensure that my children have the same luck. I've heard there are books out there geared towards young readers as young as 5 years old about safety precautions and how to report any incidents of abusive to an adult. I have yet to get my hands on any of these books, but I've been in dialogue with my parenting coach about conversations I should have with my children and some things that I can do about it.

Parents should teach their children to be alert of dangers without robbing them of their childhood and happiness. Aside from letting my kids sketch alongside me when I am designing sterling silver components, I make an effort to engage them in conversations about being careful when I am not there with them.

Here is my parenting coach's advice:

Teach your children the difference between private parts and public parts. Teach your child which parts are not okay for others to touch and which are okay. You can use a doll to illustrate. I told my daughter that people, other than mom and dad, grandma and grandpa and her nanny, should not touch her private parts. And she should not touch other people's parts, either, even as a joke. And when our family members touch there, it is only when we are helping her bathe. And since she's now potty trained, we don't need to help her wipe there anymore. Later on, I gently reinforced it and told her that she should tell my husband and I, and her teacher, if anyone tried to touch her there. And we talked about respecting other people's privacy.

Help children develop their gut instinct for danger signs. Everyone is born with natural instincts. Over the years, my instincts for which sterling silver components will be popular have become sharpened. Children's instinct for danger need to be further developed and it helps to articulate the feelings for a small child. My parenting coach suggested that when my daughter and I are out shopping or watching a movie, we should bring up the topic. For example, if we were in a grocery store and there was a stranger standing uncomfortably close, or an unkempt person walking by, we should discuss it immediately afterwards. You could say something like "Ooh, that stranger made me feel uncomfortable (or weird). I didn't like it. It felt strange (or I was a little scared). Let's go away from here quickly. I don't like being here." By saying something like this, you are saying that it is okay to feel uncomfortable and not know what it was exactly, but that it was best to leave. As the child grows older, the language and description can be a bit more detailed and analysis more in depth.

Help children understand that not all adults are right or good. It is bad advice to say "you should always listen to adults" or "do as you're told" or "do what your teacher says" (mind you, I'd like to make clear now that I believe 99.9% of teachers are good and they chose their profession for noble reasons and I support teachers and appreciate their hard work). When I teach my children's friends how to make jewellery with sterling silver components, I often test them to with silly things that don't work, or pieces missing. And I show them that I'm sometimes wrong. Many parents, for good intentions, tell their children to do as adults tell them. But not all adults are good and it is difficult for a young child to take this advice and be able to avoid instances of abuse when they encounter the bad ones. You should tell your children "Not all adults are good. Most of them are, but sometimes there are ones that are not. They are not always right. We should listen to our inner voice and decide for ourselves if they are right or not. If we don't think they are, we should tell them. If they are strangers, you should leave right away and tell mom and dad." Being an artist has helped me in this department. I'm sometimes wrong about certain sterling silver components or bead colours. The world is subjective. I don't need to be perfect and my children are fairly quick to point out where some things don't work and I encourage them to go with their gut.

To read part two of A Jewellery Component Designer's Parenting Concerns Sexual Predators II click here.

The Art of Creative Jewellery Designing

The title of this article seems grammatically incorrect. However, there is no mistake. There is the science and discipline of jewellery making, even jewellery designing. Then there is the art of it. And to top it off, there is certainly the art of creative jewellery designing. Empirical method and precise routine is import in any business, even if it is jewellery making, because it helps ensure repeatability, accountability, and viability, if combined with many other factors. However, there is the art of designing. It is essentially random creativity. There are talented writers who work nine hours solidly every day, 6 days a week. Then there are those whose genius shows through throwing together thoughts and ideas that, independently, make no sense but, together, seem inseparable. I want to talk about that kind of creativity in jewellery designing.

There are some jewellery designers who work at designs over and over again, virtually splitting hairs. Sometimes it is beautiful, but often the rigidity with which they had made the piece shows through. The jewellery components seem to go together, but they don’t gel and become something greater than the combination of themselves. It is almost like the Pointilism art movement of pictures created by the tiniest of dots. There is something desirable about the obvious painstaking work involved, but it lacks flow, drama or gusto. Designers who mull over jewellery components and rework them for too long are usually obsessed with symmetry. I go through phases of designing and am sometimes guilty of doing the same. This is usually following a bad season, but not bad enough for me to become infuriated and rejecting of all convention and advice. When I am in this phase, I am hesitant and think that if I worked hard enough at something, then the work will come through and people will want to buy the jewellery. Inevitably, I become somewhat correct. I avoid a disastrous selling season, but I don’t have boundary shattering masterpieces and phenomenal sales.

I find I am most creative, and where the collection provides the best sales results, when I am in a true bind with time. When that happens, I don’t have enough time to over-think my jewellery components. I simply throw them together, sometimes quite literally, and usually they land in some unconventional position or manner. Some of my best collections were all designed within less than 14 hours. The handwork and additional colour combinations of those designs might take a little longer, but no more than another rush of creativity when I’m rushed. Who says gold, silver and rhodium chains cannot be fashioned together with pearls of opposing colours? Or that fine filigree will be outweighed by heavy chunks of stone? Or oxidized chains combined with high shine silver? I've taken a number of our textured findings and oxidized them, and put them together with gold vermeil and roman coins . It created an old world charm with the rich sheen of gold. I could have gone further to throw in red jade and some matte lava rock. Unique.

I didn't do very well in fine arts. Although I had what I will admit as talent in portraiture, I lacked confidence and fluidity in all other areas of studio art. The same can be said about me personally. But when you don't have time to worry about perfection, you become less rigid. The very fact that you don't have time, or you don't have all of the normal ingredients you'd like, gives you an excuse to liberate yourself from one's shackles of limitation most people put on themselves. Then, it becomes okay to throw jewellery components together. And it’s perfectly acceptable that things aren't perfect because....

The art of creative jewellery designing is then the removal of the effort, science and logic of piecing jewellery components together. Let the components fall where they may (but edit a little).

Organizing Sterling Silver Findings

I really can't say enough about the importance of organizing one's supplies, like sterling silver findings. There are two different categories of organization: physical organization, and informational organization. And I'd like to touch on both and tell you a bit from personal experience, and invite you to send me your thoughts, personal solutions that you'd like to share with others, and tips on how to improve our system at Stones and Findings . Perhaps I'll write an update on our progress and some of your comments later on.


Sterling Silver Findings - Physical Organization

Physical organization mantra: a place for everything, and everything in its place . This is especially tricky with you have hundreds of different sterling silver findings, and some as small as 2mm. I'm not tidy by nature, but I will make the effort and when it takes me more than 3 minutes to find something on my desk, I take it as a higher sign that I need to do some cleaning. The worst organizer I met was a jewellery designer I had hired fresh from OCA (the prestigious Ontario College of Art). On her first full day of design work after orientation, she took jewellery findings out of bins and spread them all out on the large table. As I walked past many times throughout that day, I become increasingly alarmed by the build up of beads and sterling silver findings. When it came time for cleanup, company rule of 30 minutes before leaving for home, she had built up at least 2 litres in volume of tiny beads and pearls , all completely mixed. She asked if it was okay to leave it. The answer was a curt no, of course. She told me that one of her professors at the College was like this and that was how he functioned. She was young and so, I thought I'd do her the favour of not softening the edges of truth. I looked at her work for the day and I told her that she should try to emulate the professor's creative artistry and not just the mess. It wasn't long before I had to let her go. Jewellery really wasn't her forte, and her messiness was dragging everyone else down. Artistic talent is never a valid excuse for sloppy inefficiency.

On the other end of the mess meter was my experience on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship last Christmas. Occupancy was at its maximum, however, I never felt crowded, except in our cabin, with my kids' toys and clothes strewn everywhere. On the ship, every single wall panel had shallow shelving behind it, it seemed. These places held things like extra tea bags to napkins. Everything had a built-in place for it and the staff did a great job putting things back. I was really inspired and realized we have a long way to go and there are many exciting opportunities for improvement. Just remember that the time spent searching for things is money.

There are many simple things you can do to improve physical organization of your sterling silver components or jewellery business:

- For those designing with fewer sterling silver components , and jewellery beads or with lower budget, simple tackle boxes and food jars can go a long way. Food jars are bulky and you lose some room because they're round, but it's better than nothing and they usually come free. Canadian Tire has the best selection of tackle or sewing kit boxes

- Use Avery labels to label everything, including cost and supplier, if you don't mind others knowing

- If you're taking things out of their places to design, pour them out onto little saucers instead of building up a massive pool

- We've since made many strides in improving the organization of sterling silver findings in our shelves, with proper labelling and location. More can be done and I invite you to let us know how.

Feel free to click here and read on about Informational Organization of Sterling Silver Findings and Jewellery Supplies .